Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Slowing down, ending the BUSY craze

Three months have gone by. I won't even go there. I will just pick up where I left off. Pick up that virtual pen and start writing again. Time has a way of sneaking by and leaving us with some regrets or perhaps things left undone. This blog is one of them for me. Times get busy and things get left by the wayside, but we start again in hopes of moving on.

Being busy

But what of this "being busy all the time"? Do you constantly find yourself saying "I'm busy" or "let me check my schedule". Years back the "let me check my schedule" line was more of a joke than anything else. "Let me pencil you in" was something we said to sound as if we were busy, but we, of course, had the time.  Yet, nowadays this "busy-ness business" has become reality.

I think for the past few years I have had to "schedule" more phone calls than I have made on a random basis. Remember when people use to just pick up the phone and just call? Even better than that was the time before caller ID existed. You were just obliged to pick up the phone; you never knew who it could be! Now, when the phone rings, we say to ourselves..."I don't have time for this call" or "I'll get back to them some other time!"

With all the technology we have these days, I think we actually communicate less and less.  I know more about my friends and family through Facebook than I do through actual full-blown conversations. And yes, yes, this blog is part of that "un-communication-communication".

Wouldn't you say that this "busyness business" has become more and more prevalent than ever before? Even kids are too busy these days. As a high school teacher, I was sometimes shocked at how many activities, jobs, and hobbies my students were involved in. I have made it a point that our little ones not join any extracurricular activity until they are older. I can't even begin to tell you how many three year olds I know who are already involved in some sort of sport, music or art class. How about just letting kids be kids? Run around, get dirty, kick around a ball or fall off a bike?

Learning to ride a bike

How I slow down

I've also been taking a few steps in a more "slow" direction in order to get back into an intentional pace. I have started writing letters. Letter writing is so rare these days and those who have been on the receiving end have really appreciated it. Taking the time to sit with paper and pen and write down thoughts can be therapeutic and freeing. It is something I really enjoy and it helps me to keep away from the mean screen!

I also take to writing all my appointments and to do lists in a real, paper agenda. For a long time I used to keep track of everything on my smart phone. My phone was constantly sounding alarms in the most inappropriate places and at the most inconvenient times. Go figure! Writing down my schedule and routines helps me to remember them. Writing is linked to memory. That's why good old-fashioned note taking is far more effective when it comes to studying rather than typing away on a laptop.

Slowing down with kids

With the boys we read, read, read. The boys love to read books. Either they will sit and look at books (as they don't actually read yet) for long stretches of time or we will sit and snuggle together to read and develop a love of reading. The benefits are immense and it is really quality time spent together. The one thing I will randomly buy them are books. Now we even visit the local library and they have their very own, very important and special library cards. Toys will come on three particular times a year: feast day, birthday and Christmas. Books! Well, they are an exception. In our house? Books abound!

Our choice to not have a television at home helps us to choose other activities rather sit in front of the all time consuming boob-tube. I myself know the dangers of HGTV and all shows related to DIY, cooking or gardening. Besides, I am so busy now that I don't know how I would have time to sit and watch television. It would be nice though. Pinterest has my undivided attention already. It's a habit I must kick!

The boys used to watch videos on rainy days and on "sick days" but even that I have eliminated. Especially now that rainy season is upon us. I know. Harsh, huh? I don't think so. I noticed that my almost four year old began to have tantrums each time his "video time" would end. He was having uncontrollable fits of "I want more videos". He never really watched very much, but when he did it became an obsession. Video marathons!

Just being kids in the backyard
After a long conversation with a dear friend who was experiencing the same situation with her eldest son, I decided to snatch up her idea. She took away all technology and designated a once a week "family movie night". It has been a life-saver. She has seen a huge difference in her sons behavior. I too have seen a difference in just under one week. The research is there. Screens are not good for children. Outdoors, books and just plain family time is good for children. I am a firm believer that screens should be limited. There is truly no benefit in them, not even educationally speaking. They are a great tool, at that.

All these slower paced tactics help me to stay grounded and really be available to our children. There are still those moments when I sneak some time on my phone to see that Facebook post. I become mesmerized! Engrossed! On the brink of having my own tantrum however distant, small voice shouting "mommy? mommy?" quickly brings me to. The cold sweats cease and I'm back in Kansas!

So let me get off this darn laptop and get back to my kids who are taking all the books off the shelf in search of that one about whales!

Take it slow and watch the change in yourself. This business of being busy only steals away our precious time. Slow down and enjoy the little things. It's what is most important.

Do you do anything to slow down the pace of your own busy life? What are you doing to help your children slow down a bit?

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

The revolution in our hearts!


What with all the bad news lately, it's been difficult to think of something to write. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut, focusing on well, the bad news. The media has a knack for focusing on the bad as well. Truth be told, humans tend towards the sensational. We're like moths to a flame. It's sad. We need to seek out the good. Hence the purpose of this blog. This blog has been a great challenge to me, from day one! It is partly the reason why I scarcely update. It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress.

With the tragedy in Orlando, I was moved to reflect on what will finally make things better. On facebook I kept reading "love is the only thing that can overcome hate". Indeed! It is true! Love is the only way. Love is what our hearts yearn for. But how, in God's name, do we, (little ol' me), become a part of the bigger picture so that tragedies like this will cease to happen?

Sure, we can focus on specifics: LGBT issues; gun control; ISIS, terrorism. We can go down the line of what is wrong with this world but where will that get us? One quote has kept surfacing in my heart: "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me." It is traditionally said to come from St. Francis of Assisi. Is this way we can change the world? There is wisdom in history.

We must change our hearts. The revolution that we need is a revolution in our hearts! In. Our. Hearts!

I would like to reflect on two words. One we hear all the time of late and the other, rarely. Virtue and Tolerance. I will begin by reflecting on the latter.

Tolerance is "the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with." Is this what is going to change the world for the better? Tolerance? I think, as persons, we are called to greater things. Tolerance, in many respects can seem like a good place to start, but tolerance can make way for "acceptance of what is not good." It's a slippery slope when we say we will be tolerant.

Tolerance can help us to love others in that we need to love the person, no matter their choices. But going above and beyond tolerance means that I love the person but do not have to accept their bad choices. We cannot accept the unacceptable just for the sake of tolerance. I cannot and should not accept the criminal choices others make because it goes against human nature to kill, to lie and to steal; to hurt others. Yet, I can accept the person who makes these choices because they are created in dignity and ultimately in love and for love. Because of love, I am required to look past their choices and love them. It is within the context of this love that I may then seek to show them the truth of their ways and lead them to better choices. More loving choices.

Virtue, on the other hand is "behavior showing high moral standards. synonymous with goodness, virtuousness, righteousness, morality, integrity, dignity, rectitude, honor, decency, respectability, nobility, worthiness, purity. These are the things that make up the human person. This is the greatness that we are all created for: goodness. Goodness stems from love; love of self and love for others. If we live a virtuous life, if virtues are planted firmly in our hearts and are not a mere facade to impress others, than we will steer clear from the things that destroy this world, that destroy the human ability to love. It is through virtue that we can not only change our own hearts, but the hearts of others. The human heart is attracted to virtue. It longs for virtue because virtue is what leads to a life of joy and fulfillment.

We were made for greatness because love is great. Love goes far beyond our love for material things. Love holds a high standard if we consider the true meaning of love. The perfect definition of true love is "I want good for you" (the Italian way of expressing love: ti voglio bene). This is true love. Love is beyond feeling. Love is a decision. Feelings fade, but decision comes from the will; from the heart. Love wishes the good of the other, beginning with ourselves. Love is not tolerant of what is hurtful. Love does not tolerate a utilitarian view of the human person. Love does not accept what goes against it. Love is firmly planted in truth.

We have arrived at a time where each person makes their own truth. We are living in a world where reality is malleable. Each person makes his own reality yet, we all belong to the same reality. We all belong to the same world. We live in our own little created "world" until tragedy strikes and then we realize that in fact, what happens to my brother, happens to me. In tragedy, we see the worst that resides in the human heart, but from tragedy we also witness the best we are capable of: love, compassion, empathy, sincerity, generosity, heroism.

Love can only exist alongside truth. Love can only flourish through virtue. Love will wither away if it only seeks to tolerate. Love must wish and seek the good of the other. If this desire for virtue, for truth and for genuine love begins to take root in our own hearts and in those of our children and all those who surround us, this will truly be the revolution that will begin to change the world.

We hear of so many Muslim refugees that are arriving in Europe and asking for baptism into the Christian faith (read article here.) This is happening not because they are being proselytized but because they have witnessed the goodness of virtue in those Christians who have cared for them along their journey. Those who survived the tragedy in Orlando on Sunday witnessed the heroic virtue of many, such as Joshua McGill who helped to save a total stranger. Those who are considered bigots to the LGBT community went out of their way to serve food to the volunteers and those donating blood (Chic-fil-A story).

Love will conquer all, but it has to be planted in a life of virtue. We must fight the revolution of virtue in our hearts, and in the hearts of our families. Only this way will we begin to see what is true, good and beautiful in this world. And there's lots to see, but we need more!

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

A family on mission in Miami!

I think I have discovered that time goes by way too fast. Blogging reminds me of this. Yet, here I am again. As I mentioned before, inconsistent, but posting nonetheless. I'll fill you in on a few details about why this blog doesn't seem to be a top priority these days. My goal is to post once or twice a week [insert laughter], but here's why that is not happening:

We just got back from mission. Yes! Mission.  Okay, let me start from the beginning. Perhaps you recall a post I wrote on my old blog about mission. You can read that here. I detailed a great time had by the family as we went on mission. We belong to a lay international community, known as Emmanuel community which you can read about here or here. Basically we believe, that as Christians, we must always be on mission. But more specifically, we, every once and awhile, do missions in the parish setting.

Missionaries from Rome's Emmanuel School of Mission

Long story made kind of shorter, that mission in New York bore fruit to the mission we attended last week in Miami! A real blessing as I have been praying for years that our community would be able to do something like this in my hometown. God is good and God knows the desires of our hearts.

A dear friend, Fr. Jose Alfaro, hosted our Emmanuel School of Mission in his parish, Blessed Trinity, in Miami Springs, Miami. It was fantastic.

I have never seen such a great amount of parishioners so enthusiastic for mission. It seemed like the entire parish and school was on board. Joy was abundant. Zeal was common. The atmosphere was ablaze with the desire to evangelize.

Parish Mission prayer Blessed Trinity has been praying for months

The activities were typical for one of our parish missions. Door-to-door around the community; open houses with friends and families of parishioners; visits to school classrooms, retirement homes and themed evening programs targeting youth, couples, and the sick and suffering. It was a time of rejoicing and making new friends. As a community, I believe many of us felt something different. There is something different when a mission is not brought to a parish but lived by the parish.

The missionaries visiting the school
Getting ready for a flash mob on the Miami Springs Circle
Thank you to Fr. Jose (a.k.a. Fr. Alfaro)  for welcoming us. Thank you to the Blessed Trinity parish for showing us that family goes beyond the boundaries of our own homes. Thank you to Blessed Trinity school for showing us the joy of faith in the hearts of children and those who serve them. We have been blessed and even history was made. The closing Mass took place at the famous Miami Springs Circle and the Archbishop articulated what was felt in every heart, the mission is for all, the mission is the part of the joy of being a Christian. Let us proclaim the love of Christ to all.

Their joy is contagious! 

Here is a little summary video put together by Blessed Trinity Parish to show you the immense joy and love that was shared by all on mission. Thank you again! 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

When our prayers are not answered

Not all of our prayers are answered. I'm sure we have all experienced that grace, or even, that...frustration. Why doesn't God answer those prayers we feel are worthy, are good and our so important to us? We beg and sometimes it feels as though He is not listening. But He is!

I came across this song by Lauren Daigle. The chorus goes like this:

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

At certain points in our lives we are faced with mountains that seem insurmountable; waters that drown and pleas that seemed to go unheard. But really what is God saying in the silence? His silence too is an answer. I am reminded of the many times a day I negate certain things for my boys. Things that at times could even seem harmless but in the end, I discern that it is best that I not give in. I do it out of love. I do it out of concern and ultimately for their own good. 

In the Italian language you say I love you by saying "I want good for you" Ti voglio bene. What a beautiful way to express love; to want only good for the other. Ultimately wishing good for the other sometimes hurts. It sometimes comes in silence or what may seem like a negative answer. The opposite of what we wish and what we pray for. 

Time is also of essence. Sometimes certain prayers are not answered on our time. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways." Isaiah 55:8 God's timing is perfect. This is hard to comprehend. It has taken me years to come to terms with this. But in looking back on my life I have seen the hand of God and His perfect timing. It makes me realize that the inner peace I find even in the midst of unanswered prayers, is His wisdom, His love and His wanting the best for me. 

We have been living some unanswered prayers for quite some time. I would even say for a few years. It is frustrating. It is bewildering at times. Yet, when I lie down at night, I find a certain sense of peace that I know comes from the fact that all comes in His good timing. I wouldn't want it any other way. My entire life is a proof of this. Sure, we can force the outcome. We can "make it work" but we know in the depths of our souls that it wouldn't be with His blessing; through His will but solely out of our own doing. 

So when you feel frustrated, let down, unheard by unanswered prayers, think of the answer that lies in His silence. Trust Him even more. Trust Him even though He doesn't answer your prayers when you want and how you want. Think of the fact that in trusting Him more He will bring you to where you need to be. In trusting Him more, you will be able to live a life of grace that brings you a deep abiding joy and an inner peace that is unmistakable. 

The song continues:
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood.

If I, as the mother of my sons, know them through and through and surely know what is best for them, even if it requires negating some of their requests, than how much more does not God know us? The God that created us knows us since the beginning of time.

May all your prayers that are answered and not answered allow you to recognize that He loves you infinitely because "Ti vuole bene". He wants good for you! 

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wondering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior King of the fight
No matter what I face You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You

Truth is You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You
I will trust in You

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation
The Rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go
You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You
I will trust in You

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Inconsistently back...but cancer free!

If blogging required inconsistency, I would be a smashing great blogger! I am back. Again! I won't promise consistency. I will just admit that it is something I struggle with. I suppose I have a great excuse this time around. Having had surgery to remove ALL of my cancer, kind of derailed me. But now I am back on track. Things are steadily moving forward. I am cancer free!

I would like to thank all those that prayed for me! I would like to genuinely thank each of you that reached out to me. If I have not responded to emails/texts it was not intentional. I still have every intention to get back to everyone. I have been trying to get things back in order. The surgery and a few other personal hurdles have kept me a bit busy. I now feel like I am ready to come back to blogging and some other projects I had left on the back burner of life.

Thank you infinitely!

I learned a difficult lesson while I was out of sorts. It is called "asking for and receiving help". I can't say it is really pride that kept me from asking for help. Perhaps it could be. It was more not wanting to inconvenience or burden anyone. Yet, those who offered to reach out to help were most certainly received with my very timely and always polite "no thank you". After a few days of trying to get back on my feet, sans mother, I realized that it was a lesson awaiting to be learned. I accepted the help! It was liberating.

I realized that in accepting help I am not only allowing myself to be taken care of in a time of need, by those who care for me deeply, but I am also allowing my friends/family member to be of service. Serving others is a necessity. It helps us to grow and it helps us to come out of ourselves. In the act of serving and helping others, we receive so much. Not only did I realize what a beautiful thing it is to serve others, but how beautiful it is to be served. How humbling. How loving. How rewarding.

Thank you to all those who helped me during this difficult time. Thank you to all those who have walked with me during this little "bump in the road". I am well and I am thankful most of all to God. May the Lord grant you all graces for your loving kindness.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

When cancer hits home!

In my previous post I mentioned that I am going through some health issues. Although I normally refrain from speaking so intimately of my personal life, I feel that this time I cannot but speak of what I'm going through. If this blog post helps even just one person, than it was well worth divulging a bit of my personal life here.

I will start from the beginning: back in October I had a very bad case of poison ivy. It was my first experience of this itching horror. It was unbearable! If you haven't had poison ivy, the only way to describe it, is as an intense itching that reaches all the way down to your bones. It's so intolerable that you in fact feel like scratching down to bare bone. It really is awful! I finally couldn't take it anymore. I ended up visiting my general practitioner to ask for some sort of medication to alleviate the terrible itch. 

It turned out that my regular doctor was out on maternity leave so I saw another physician. She examined me and prescribed some medication. However, right before ending the consultation, she began to examine my neck. She immediately advised that I get an ultrasound and gave me a referral to visit my local hospital as soon as possible. She was concerned that I may have thyroid nodules. Because there is family history of thyroid complications, I quickly agreed to follow out her request. 

The ultrasound revealed that I indeed I had multiple nodules. This is actually very common but given my family history and some suspicious looking nodules, they recommend that I get a biopsy in the same hospital. I moved from referral to referral without much worry. I was almost certain that it would all result in nothing. I'm not sure why I felt this way but in hindsight I believe I was so engrossed in the daily happenings of my life, that I just never thought otherwise. 

The biopsy then lead to the waiting game, yet again, without too much worry. In early December I finally went back to my doctor to get the results of a recent physical as well as the results of my biopsy. The first order of business was my physical. Everything looked great; a perfect bill of health. Next was the results of the biopsy. I was ready to move on and check out as I had many things to tend to back home. My doctor began to rummage through a bunch of papers she located in my file. I was not prepared to hear what she would say next.  My doctor turned to me with a fist full of papers and said "Now in regards to your biopsy, you have cancer."

My heart sank. That word! That "c" word. No matter how many relatives, friends or friends of friends you have known who have battled cancer, you just never imagine hearing those words in regards to yourself. Never! I was completely unprepared and wanted nothing more than to go home and be with my husband. 

In an instant my life had changed. The words hung in midair already stale and stagnant; a real hard pill to swallow. I waited for her next words as my eyes filled with tears. My doctor looked at me with sympathy and placed her hand on my shoulder. She proceeded to say a phrase I have now heard over and over again since that moment: "If I had to pick a cancer, this is the one that I would pick. You have papillary thyroid cancer and it is curable." Yet, somehow I only kept hearing the word cancer. All the other words coming from her mouth were muffled and meaningless. I was hung up on that word; the word that for many I had once known, had been a death sentence. 

She began to explain a bit more about my diagnosis. The stage of my cancer was unknown and could not be determined until surgery. She also explained that the manner in which this type of cancer was cured was through a full thyroidectomy (removal of the entire thyroid gland and possibly some lymph nodes) and if necessary, radiation. Fortunately chemotherapy was rarely used. As minutes passed I seemed to come to and realized that my diagnosis was not a death sentence. I have to admit that I still could not get over the fact that I had just been told I had cancer, but I was starting to realize how blessed I was. 

On my drive home one-hundred things zoomed through my mind. How was I going to tell my husband? How was I going to get through all of this? Would I continue to be so confident as before and believe everything would be okay? Why had I not even been concerned up until now? Was it false hope? Was it mere preoccupation? Or was it such a complete self-reliance that I had failed to remember that I am not fully in charge. Had I forgotten that indeed God is the one who gives and takes away? Had I forgotten Him?

The following days were filled with hours upon hours of google research and lots of prayer and tears. However, with the passing of time, I slowly realized that although I had been diagnosed with cancer, I was blessed. I was blessed for two reasons: The first reason, I had been given a wake-up call. I remembered that I was not in charge and had begun to acknowledge God again. The second blessing was the more obvious one: This type of cancer was very curable. In some instances, even 100% curable. 

And now for the reason why am I writing this post in the first place: 

"Thyroid cancer is the most common endocrine cancer. Thyroid cancer is a cancerous tumor or growth located within the thyroid gland. Thyroid cancer is one of the few cancers that has increased in incidence rates over recent years. It occurs in all age groups from children through seniors. It is most common in women although it is found in men as well. 

Many patients, especially in the early stages of thyroid cancer, do not experience symptoms. (This was my situation and why even my blood work from my physical came back clean). However, as the cancer develops, symptoms can include a lump or nodule in the front of the neck, hoarseness or difficulty speaking, swollen lymph nodes, difficulty swallowing or breathing, and pain in the throat or neck. 

There are several types of thyroid cancer: papillary, follicular, medullary, anaplastic, and variants." [source]

If thyroid complications run in your family, you should ask that your doctor examine you and you can even request an ultrasound. If you feel in any way that your neck area seems lumpy or even feels a bit "chubbier", see your doctor and inquire about an examination. 

The increase of this type of cancer in recent years has been linked to the exposure of different types of common radiations such as mammograms and dental x-rays. Be informed and know your choices. You can request that x-ray technician cover your neck area at any of these types of exams. For some ungodly reason, many technicians do not use them, even though they have the necessary equipment.   In fact, technicians have special padding and covers for your neck area. You must request it and I highly advise that you do.

There is nothing like a diagnosis like this to serve as a wake-up call. I have realized, in the past few weeks, just how fragile life is; how out of our hands most everything is and how wrapped up I was in my life. I had forgotten how much of a gift life really is. I should acknowledge this daily. 

The fact remains, we do not know if tomorrow will come; we don't even know what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps it is a cancer diagnosis or that of a loved one. Perhaps it's a tragedy or loss so great that we do not know how we will live on. Whatever tomorrow brings, good or bad, it's so easy to get stuck in the daily grind and forget that really, each day that passes, is a gift from God. Tomorrow is never guaranteed! 

Yet, I realize that I'll probably fall back into my old habits. I will probably, months from now, forget the depths of my fear the day I heard that "c" word. I will probably, in many ways, not realize how much God has spared me and how truly merciful He has been. Yes! We are prepared to get through this. We are ready to go back to our everyday lives and put this behind us. I hope that I can keep this in the forefront of my mind so as to not forget the gift that my life is. I hope and pray that whatever lies ahead, I see it all as a blessing. 

But if I do forget. If I should go back to my old ways, may God gently remind me, from time to time and refresh my recollection that life is only given to us one day at a time. The rest, is nothing more and nothing less than gift and grace. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

The true, good and the beautiful of my hiatus!

I am back, from a month and a half hiatus. It's been an intense time of praying and taking a look at my life and all that God has allowed to come forth. In this initial look forward, I would like to share a few things, just enough to say hello and hope that you will join me again on this journey I asked you to take with me a few months back.

The truth is it's been a tough couple of months. I have been on a whirlwind tour with many health issues abounding. God throws some curveballs, but nothing we cannot handle without His grace. More details on this in a later blog post. For now, I just ask for your prayers for our little family and for my health.

The good in all of this is that God is calling me back to Him. I had been wandering away for a while. Nothing major, actually much more subtle than stepping away full stop. Yet, sometimes subtleties can be worse. We don't take notice that we are not placing God first and before you know it our prayer life is in shambles and we ask where God is? He is right there. He is always there, we are just not taking time for Him. Life gets so busy sometimes that God takes a backseat to the most mundane. I'll tell you one thing, health matters can quickly bring you back to the reality that God has control of everything and we really control pretty much nothing. God is gracious and merciful. This is the goodness that I have come to discover again, through the trials of the past few months.

The beauty? The beauty is that life has so much to offer. Life is beautiful, we just have to learn to see the beauty in each minute detail. It's difficult to see beauty when things get clouded by issues of health or even money. We start to relate everything to these obstacles and all of a sudden our lives revolve around the difficulties rather than around the God that will get us through it all.
The beauty is that I have a God who loves me, and who cares for me. He is beyond merciful. I am blessed and I cannot but fix my eyes on Him so that I may come to know Him more through the trials that life challenges me with. Hopefully this will bring me to love Him all the more.

I hope I have not lost you. I pray that you are well. I realize that my inconsistency is not a strong suit in the world of blogging. Won't you pray for me, that God may work through me and my love of writing?