Monday, October 24, 2016

Truth about single life



So we've covered marriage and a tiny bit of motherhood, but really what is essential is to talk about single life.

Single life is the basis for all vocations. Single life is the time when you build yourself up. It is the time when you can really focus on God and yourself. Those are the two most important relationships of single life. However, the world will tell you otherwise.

The world tells single people to go ahead, have fun. Do anything that makes you feel good. Life is short. Life is about pleasure. Focus on success.

So the Church tells you differently. Yes.

Christ's message is freeing. Christ liberates the human person.

Is it not freedom we are all ultimately seeking?

So what does the Church say? Well, the Church does not tell you not to have fun. It does not deject pleasure. It does not smite success. It's outlook is otherworldly, yet human. It's grounded. It's real.

Fun and pleasure is good in moderation. Pleasure must be limited in that if we solely seek pleasure, than we will be turned inwards on our own desires and forget that we are made for love of the other and the Other. 

Love must be at the center of all that we do. Real love. Love that is responsible. Love that is patient. Love that is kind and understanding. A love that knows that what comes first is the other as opposed to me.

There is so much that I can cover in what it means to be single. But alas, there are not enough pages. I will speak of my experience instead.

For many years, I lived as the world prescribed. I was happy. Or so I thought. I realized that happiness was fleeting. It came and went as easily as did the friendships I was making and the relationships that were lost in the abyss of superficiality. My focus was to have fun. My focus was on me. My needs. My wants. My life.

Guess what? Most everybody else was living the same way. That makes for a lot of hurt. A lot of using. A lot of emptiness.

There was always an unquenchable longing for more. A more that I couldn't find in what I was living. The more I thought I had, the less I felt fulfilled. It was all an illusion.

Until I realized I had to stop "chasing of my own tail", so to speak. I began to search for more. I began to pray.

I prayed a very simple prayer:

"Your will be done Lord." That's all.

The rest, I can say, is history. But I will say this: The Lord, came to my rescue. He heard my call. He answered my prayers and what I found was not only fulfillment but the love I had been longing for. God's love revealed to me real, true, passionate love. A love that gives all for the other.

And so, that is what I searched for in others. That is what I found in my husband. I began to seek more than just pleasure and fun. I began to immerse myself in ways I could serve. I could give. I could love.

Single life does not have to be hurt and emptiness. The world tries to sell you on an old formula that does not work. Take care of no. 1. 

I can attest to the fact that when you start living for the other, you find your life. You find freedom. You find the purpose for which we were created for: to give ourselves away. That is love.

Like Christ. Who loved. Completely. Unto death.

The slogan is still out there. Take care of no. 1. People still believe it. Young people still try and obtain all that it entails. I know. I was a high school teacher. It's an illusion.  It only takes you for a spin and then back to none other than, yourself. That is not what we are created for. We are not made for ourselves. We are made for others. For God. For love.

Real love.
Love that is responsible.
Love that is patient.
Love that is kind and understanding.
A love that knows that what comes first is the other as opposed to me.

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