Thursday, March 23, 2017

Featured on Aleteia-For Her

I used to think I was just a chronic pessimist, until I discovered I had persistent depressive disorder.

I have battled persistent depressive disorder (PDD), previously known as dysthymia, for most of my life. It means that more often than not, I find myself in a low mood. I always thought I was just a chronic pessimist. Major life events, such as changes in schooling or friendships, exacerbated my condition. However, despite my persistent blues, I was resourceful and got by, even if gloomy clouds were never too far off.
After moving back from living abroad, I had a serious bout with major depression. I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. It was the first time in my life that I sought help for my depression from a medical doctor, and I was diagnosed with PDD. At first I felt a sense of relief. I was finally able to put a name to what I had felt for so long.

Almost immediately my doctor suggested medication. At first, I refused. Feeling defeated, I opted to seek therapy to sort through my emotions instead. It felt as if I had spent my whole life trudging through a dense jungle of emotions. Yet, armed with a machete of my persistence, I had managed to cut through the brush of despondence and survive. Yet, deep down I knew that therapy would not be enough.

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